In honor of my sister who celebrates her birthday each and every Halloween...a true story that illustrates that even the cat, given the choice, prefers meat.
I've noticed as I wander the pet food aisle at Sam's Club, that it is now possible to find vegetarian cat and dog food, so that Fido and Fluffy don't suffer the same horrible end that will eventually take all the other carnivores to an early grave. I don't think the average person realizes that both cats and dogs, given the choice, actually prefer meat. Warning the following true account offers two cats this very choice and will change forever the way you think about your lovable pet.
Janice, by all accounts, was a lovely person, much loved by her co-workers at one of the many nondescript businesses that populate the vast industrial landscape in the City of Vaughan. She was quietly competent in her secretarial duties. She was prompt, efficient, and rarely missed a day of work. On those rare days when she was ill, or needed to be absent for any reason, she was sure to call well in advance.
Janice had scheduled to take a Friday off work, and on Thursday, bid her co-workers farewell. She proceeded to her small bungalow which was nearly swallowed by the mini-mansions that were preferred by her wealthy Italian neighbors. The formerly sleepy town of Woodbridge had, in the late 80's, been transformed into a trendy, if slightly congested, enclave of the newly rich. Dozens of new subdivisions had sprung up and the hardworking Italians had squeezed maximum square-footage onto every possible inch of their lots. As a police officer assigned to the City of Vaughan, the Woodbridge area contained my favorite patrol zones. There was not much trouble in Vaughan. A couple murders each year were of the cleanest kind: A businessman found in the trunk of his Cadillac with a bullet in his skull. The killer would long since have arrived back in Italy...or wherever hit-men for the mob reside. Overall, the City of Vaughan was a fantastic place for a young police officer to work in the 1980s. Janice was not wealthy, and I'm sure her neighbors resented that her rundown bungalow was affecting the property values on their street.
I first heard of Janice on a Tuesday morning day shift. It was slightly after 9am and Janice's boss called to report that she had failed to show up for work Monday, and also today. Everyone was concerned because Janice was never late, let alone absent without giving notice. Her boss had called her repeatedly since mid-day Monday and was now very concerned that something was wrong. I was dispatched to drive to her residence and check on her well-being. I drove to her bungalow and noted that her vehicle was in the driveway and there were no tire tracks in the snow that had fallen over the past couple of days. It was bitterly cold and I resented that I was going to have to leave my warm police cruiser and brave the bitter wind.
I walked to the front door, rang the bell and knocked loudly. There was no answer. I looked in the kitchen window and was surprised that the window appeared to be frosted on the inside. I also noticed that Janice had secrets of which her coworkers were likely unaware. Janice was a hoarder and apparently also an alcoholic. Her kitchen was literally waist-deep in empty soup tins, discarded liquor bottles, and assorted garbage. There was a single pathway that allowed access to the doorway which led to the rest of the house. I yelled "Anybody home?" and almost jumped out of my skin when a large cat jumped up to the kitchen windowsill and peered back at me. I had a sense of dread that something bad had happened to Janice. I called for another officer to back me up as we would have to force entry into the home to find out what was going on.
Officer Bell responded and I was thankful that a big guy had responded to back me up. The cat on the windowsill had spooked me and I was on edge. We walked to the rear of the home and pounded some more on the back door, trying to get a response from inside. After a few minutes, it was obvious nobody was responding. We notified the dispatcher that we would be forcing entry to the back door. I can't recall who kicked in the door, but it was a flimsy door and kicking it in was a non-issue. We carefully entered the home with our pistols drawn. It was very quiet and as we yelled, "Police! We're coming in!", there was no response. I immediately noticed that it was the same temperature inside the home, as it was outside. It was probably 20 degrees below freezing, inside and out. We entered a dim hallway which had garbage piled high on both sides. There was a single footpath through the debris, leading to the interior of the home.
As we entered the living room, we saw a body face-down on the floor, near the sofa. Two large cats were sitting near the head of the body and as we came into the room, they ran to us and began to contentedly purr and rub against our legs. Having dark pants, and having no desire to spend the rest of the shift picking cat hair off my pants, I used my boot to "gently" discourage the cats from rubbing against my legs. A 40 oz. bottle of vodka, lay partially empty on its side, cap removed. We called out, but based on the complete stillness and silence in the room, it was obvious that we were dealing with a corpse. Thankfully, due to the cold, there was no decomposition. However, the strong odor of cat urine/feces was evident. Scattered around the floor were packages of cookies, potato chips, some bread, and pastries. Janice was wearing a heavy woolen sweater and several pairs of sweat pants. We noticed a small table that contained a huge pile of "Final Notice" bills from the city for water, electricity, etc. That would explain the sub-freezing temperatures. Janice's power and water had been disconnected. How this happened in the middle of winter is unknown. There is a standing policy in the city that essential services such as water and electricity should not be disconnected during the winter months. Somehow a mistake had been made.
Although we were 99.9% sure that Janice was dead, we knew we would need to check for a pulse. Our first shock came as I reached down to grab her hand to pull her over on her back. As I reached for her wrist and grabbed, I felt what seemed like a skeleton's bone beneath the wool sleeve of her sweater. "Janice must be really skinny," I thought. I pulled her over on her back and recoiled in horror. Both sides of Janice's face had been cleaned off to the bone. Both eyes and ears were missing and with the exception of her nose and a small patch of her forehead, her face was completely gone. The skeletal skull smiled up at us. I glanced down at her hand and noticed why I had suspected she was very thin. The flesh from her hand and wrist was missing...gone, right up to the point at which her arm disappeared into the sleeve of her sweater. I had grabbed her wrist which was mainly covered by the woolen sleeve. The flesh that was visible and easily accessed had been eaten by these two lovely cats. I'll never forget how sad I felt as I spoke with the extended family. Janice was divorced, living alone with her two feline companions, and by all accounts was a lovely person and a highly competent employee. She obviously had her struggles, but it was especially sad to realize that she died alone, and let nobody into her life. All she had in this life, at this time, were her cats.
The cats were removed by the humane society and I suspect that these cats, who obviously preferred to eat their master rather than feast on the abundant cookies, pastries, and chips that were strewn around the home, were probably adopted by some family with no idea that their new pet(s) had a taste for human flesh. Only the police officers, the morgue, and the funeral home ever knew what happened in Janice's home over those four days. But for those of us who experienced it, we will never look at a cat the same way again.
Lessons Learned:
- If you live alone, and have an animal in the house with you, always leave a large supply of preferably meat-based food in a convenient dish. You just never know...
- Cats, like humans are omnivores. They can eat both plants and animals...but as you now know, they greatly prefer meat to anything else.
- Don't drink large quantities of alcohol in extremely cold environments. If you pass out...you could die.
Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday to the best big-sister a guy could have. Until next time...BBB Safe (beef, butter and bacon).